To Know Me is to Love Me

Many years ago, when my children were still young, I joined a small faith-sharing group in our church. We met once a week to read scripture together and discuss the implications for our personal lives as young mothers. I grew very close to and fond of the other moms in this group. At one point I was writing a short article for the church bulletin about prayer, and I was thinking about how lucky I was to have such incredible women in my group, when it suddenly dawned on me that ALL people are incredible, we just rarely take the time to discover the unique beauty in other people that makes them so. Because we were in a faith-sharing group together, I had come to know each of these women on a personal level. I saw their strengths and their vulnerabilities, I knew them.

Nearly twenty years later, I became the Vice Principal of a K-8 elementary school. One day the principal and I were having a conversation about our staff and we are reflecting on how great our staff was and how lucky we were to work with such devoted people. I shared the story about my small faith-sharing group because I realized that it was a similar situation. I felt I had come to some great epiphany and I wanted to share it.

My principal, however, was not surprised. She simply said, "to know me is to love me".

It is that simple - to know me is to love me.

Over the last two years, I've achieved a certain clarity about what is necessary to be successful and find joy in the administrator's role. Love is a verb, it is not just a feeling, it is an action. Actually, it is a series of actions that you choose to make. Love is a decision.

In order to love someone, you have to make the effort to get to know them on a personal level. Knowing them as a coworker is not enough. You need to know who they are in their life outside of school as well as in school. You need to know what is important to them, what they enjoy, what they are afraid of, what their particular gifts are, and where they struggle.

Knowing who a person is, you must then shine their goodness, their assets, back to them. Be their mirror. This involves empowering them to use their assets, their gifts and talents, to help support the community of learners. Need them. Make sure they know they are needed. Let them know how they are needed.

Be of service to them. Take action knowing what they care about, what they need, where they are vulnerable, support them when and where they need support.

Yes, we need to know one another to love one another. But more than that, we need to be there for one another, we need to be of service to one another in order to love one another. It is not the act of being served that makes us love another, it is the act of providing service to someone else that leads to our loving them.

Love is a decision.

And here is the best part: with love comes joy. While love is a deliberate act, joy is its byproduct - a freely given gift to one who loves.

Being an educator is not for the faint of heart. Being an educator is a call to love. It is in the loving that we empower others to be their best selves, whether it is our students or our colleagues, and it is in the loving that we find joy in our jobs.

Learning to be a Leader

I am learning to be an administrator. It is a humbling journey. The first thing I learned was how much I don't know and how much I still need to learn.

Back in August, our school board held a lovely retreat day for all of the administrators. Our guest speaker was Fr. Raymond Carey. His talk was inspirational, but one thing he said was that the analogy of a school community being a "family" was inappropriate. I disagreed with him at the time, and four months into the job, I disagree even more strongly.

It is not that I feel like a parental figure toward the staff, I don't. It is that I feel responsible for their well-being. It is that I've come to realize that "relationship building" is more than getting to know one another, it is about caring for one another; caring how other people are feeling, how they are coping, and actually taking care of them when they need a little extra support, even it is just doing a duty, or finishing off some photocopying for them because they are in a hurry. The staff at my school have taught me that as they have cared for and supported me in this new role.

I've learned that to be a VP means being able to fill in for anyone when needed. I've swept and washed floors, I've provided First Aid, I've done duties for CUPE members who can't do their usual duties because of job action issues. I've counted and deposited money, I've answered phones, wiped noses, sang songs, made bus tags - no job is too big or too small. But many of these jobs are new jobs to me and have required new learning on my part.

It often feels as though the bulk of my day is spent dealing with discipline issues, health concerns and busing. I was warned that this would be the case, I knew very well that these were a major part of the VP role, but somehow I really didn't understand the urgency of each of these or how utterly time consuming they would be. There are fire safety plans, concussion protocols, anaphylaxis and asthma protocols that all need to be created, shared and followed. It really has not left much time for focusing on what I am passionate about - learning and teaching.

I try to squeeze in those precious conversations about learning and teaching, maybe even just a well-timed question here or there, but it is truly a challenge to find those opportunities during the action-packed day.

Having a break has provided me with some valuable time for self-reflection; it seems that somehow the words "Leader" and "Administrator" have become uncoupled in my psyche and my days have been spent in learning how to be an "Administrator" - one who manages or operates an organization. Tomorrow I want to begin learning how to be a leader. As I head back to work, it will be with a renewed focus on learning and teaching. I plan to step it up and become a co-learner with the educators in my building, so that we can begin breaking down classroom walls, deepen student thinking and encourage students to own the learning.

Who Is In Your Class? New Role - New Learning

I have a new role this year. I am a Vice Principal in a K-8 Elementary school. Some might see this as a "logical next step" or the "natural progression" of a career in Education. But in all honestly, Administration was NEVER on my radar. Those who know me know that I am passionate about children and I am passionate about learning. I have never been interested in management and I have always thought of administrators as managers.

Working in Curriculum, however, I had opportunities to go into many different schools, and it became quickly apparent that the schools that had a culture of learning, the schools that moved, were the schools where the administrators saw themselves as "Instructional Leaders". These administrators knew how to empower their staff and students to make learning happen.

How did they do it? Could I do it?

I strongly believe that the way we "do school" needs to change. I've been trying to find the best place I can be to support that change on a larger scale, because a great classroom here and there is not enough. Every child should have the opportunity to learn, to be motivated and interested, to be curious and to feel successful.

I had the pleasure of seeing Steven Katz speak last fall. He gave me lots to think about. According to Katz, the connection between changes in teacher thinking and practice and student achievement is very strong. But the connection between professional learning and changes in teacher thinking and practice is much more fuzzy.

What does this mean to me?

- Sending a teacher to a professional development in-service does not ensure changes in thinking or practice.
- Change in teacher practice is not enough - compliance does not beget improvement in student achievement. There needs to be a change in teacher thinking for the change in practice to actually have a positive impact.

So basically, whoever is doing the thinking is doing the learning. If the "System" is telling teachers what to do and how to do it, teachers aren't doing the thinking, the System is, so teachers are not learning. They may be compliant, and so it might look like their practice has changed, but unless they believe in that practice, it will not be enacted with a fidelity that leads to improvement for students. Nor will the change be sustainable.

What we need to do is provide the time, space, resources, and permission for teachers to do the heavy thinking. And we need to join them in it. Administrators need to learn with their teachers.

So, this year, my learning is all about how to do this best. Steven Katz asked us "Who is in your class?" And suddenly I realized I could be an administrator. It is not about being a manager (although those pieces need to happen as well... perhaps more on that in the next post). It is about building relationships and empowering people. It is about creating a culture of learning where it is safe to take risks and where we believe in one another's ability to do what is right and necessary.

If I believe that students should own their own learning, then I must also believe that teachers must own theirs. Steven Katz said that to be a good administrator is to "influence people to change". I think it is even more than that. To be a good administrator is to inspire and empower people to grow and to create the conditions necessary for that growth to happen.

That is what I am hoping to learn over the next few years. How do I create the conditions necessary for learning and growth? I'm blessed to be with a principal who has created a culture of learning in her school. I plan to pick her brain, question her every move, and take some risks of my own.

I will let you know how it goes.